If you’re like me, you don’t want to do all the work when it comes to finding girls. “Let them come to me” is my philosophy. The advantage to letting women come to you is the message you’re sending. You’re indicating you’re a strong, charismatic man who doesn’t have to waste time ‘chasing girls‘ like so many of your contemporaries do.
Hot women are used to having men approach them all the time. It’s put the guys at a decided disadvantage. They’re forced to perform tricks to try and stand out from the crowd. Whether they can do so successfully is a matter that’s open for debate. A crowded field of dudes all jockeying for the pole position puts the woman in the seat of power. If only you could get those hot babes to come to you!
Keep in mind, women approaching you will happen much less than you approaching women. Since pickup is largely a numbers game, you will get less women this way. Still, for shy or lazy guys, waiting for girls to approach you is a viable option and definitely possible.
Luckily, women will approach men. Women are getting increasingly bold every day and they’re not afraid of upsetting gender roles. There is some danger that allowing a female to take over the territory of approaches, but we’ll save that for later. Let’s just say you’re a confident guy who wants the ladies to come to him. It’s a legitimate goal and one that’s well worth pursuing.
Your Social Status Is Relative
When you go out with a group of friends to a nightclub, your social status is relative to theirs. People often joke when they see a hot girl hanging out with an unattractive friend that she’s there to make the cute one look even better. There’s more truth to that than most people realize.
I personally always try to use the idea of relative social value to my advantage. I’m not afraid to be corny about it. For example, if I’m out with a few of my friends who are smaller than me, I won’t hesitate to pick them up just so any girls hanging out nearby can witness it! It makes me look strong and my buddy seem even weaker than he is! My relative social value skyrockets!
Surrounding yourself with the sickly, the lame, and the ugly may not be your idea of a good time, but once you’ve embraced Mikey’s Theory Of Relative Social Value you’ll understand this a must! When you’re competing in a nightclub for girls, there really aren’t that many other guys involved. Some of these guys are the ones you came with. If you can upstage them in a way that clearly states ‘this guy is the King‘ it will do wonders for your reputation with the ladies.
Let the real you shine through and you’ll be amazed at how many women will approach you. Displaying high relative social value should be easy if 1) you’re at least slightly on the ball and 2) there is no ‘true natural stud’ in your circle of friends. If there is, your numbers will suffer as he siphons off the sweeties!
It’s A Man’s Job To Approach Women
When you hang out with enough ‘pickup artist‘ types you’ll get this a lot. “It’s the guys job to approach women. You can’t go against nature and let them approach!”
This is one of those typical super-rigid type ‘rules‘ that should be clearly labelled as a guideline. Sure, overall you’ll end up talking to a larger quantity of women if you do all the approaching. One of my main rules is to ignore ‘rules’ and consider all the advice you get to be a guideline or recommendation. Why do I say this? Simply because people are different. Men will need to make subtle adjustments to any ‘game‘ they try and run in order to stay in tune with the times.
If you really can’t bring yourself to do a lot of approaches then you have to make yourself very approachable. It’s a man’s job to satisfy as many beautiful women as time allows – well, it may not be a job but more like a very enjoyable past-time!
Make Yourself Approachable If You Expect To Be Approached
You can’t sit there with a scowl on your face and your arms crossed if you want to attract women. They’ll be influenced by your body language – which is telling them to back off! Approachable guys are friendly. It’s always a risk for one human to approach another. Anything can happen. In the arena of dating, rejection is a likely outcome. Therefore you need to reduce the risk as much as possible in order to make it worthwhile for someone to approach you.
Once the risk is reduced enough and the reward is clear enough, you can expect to be approached! It’s really as simple as that. If girls think there’s a great reward and no risk in approaching you, it will happen a lot. For guys who aren’t seeing this happen, they need to make tweaks to their game plan.
Being approachable means adopting the proper mindset, point of view, and body language. All of these elements can be improved for any male, regardless of their current experience. Work on the qualities that make you more approachable and you’ll find yourself getting approached a lot more often.
The Eyes Have It
Use your eyes to get an ‘Aye.’ If you want to be approached, you need to scan the facility you find yourself in and lock in on some girls you’re interested in. Focus on them with laser-like intensity until they’re forced to come to you – as if enthralled by a powerful tractor beam!
Guys who keep looking down or who can’t hold a gaze look shifty. Women are more likely to pass them on so they can continue looking. A man who is not willing to look you in the eye is generally one that either lacks confidence or wants to do something bad! Women can’t afford to risk getting involved with a guy like that. It could end badly. They’re much more likely to approach a friendly guy who has looked them right in the eye and let a bit of his inner spark shine through! Don’t forget that attraction must always be built before you ever attempt seduction, so don’t play games and try and skip this step! You must make them attracted to you if you hope to ‘have a shag.’
Don’t Forget To Smile, Smile, Smile
A winning smile really can help you win. When you smile warmly at a girl, she’s a lot more likely to smile back and want to engage with you. Work on projecting a winning smile. You should probably be like Derek Zoolander and work on several unique looks that can gain attention.
Becoming the center of attention works to your advantage. Celebrities always have an advantage over ‘regular folk‘ because they’re the center of attention. It’s all eyes on them whenever they walk into a place. They can easily use their high social value to score with as many women as possible! Even if you aren’t a celebrity, you can use the same strategies they do to gain the spotlight, and get the girls.
It takes a great deal of courage to develop a unique sense of style and a distinctive look. Most men won’t even attempt it. If you want to seduce lots of beautiful women, you have to sacrifice conformity on the altar of rebellion by marching to the beat of your own drummer. If you’re willing to do that, there is no limit to where you can get with girls.
Regardless of what look you decide on, don’t be afraid to put it in motion. It might not work will all girls, but chances are it will work with at least some of them. There is no one-size fits all smile. You can try a winning smile, a wry smirk, a daring half-smile, it really doesn’t matter. What matters most is you make it real by believing you are a literal chick magnet!
In order to get women to approach you, consider that three elements need to be in play.
You’ll need all three elements to attract girls to approach you.
- Relaxed body posture. – In order for her to approach you she’ll need to feel confident that there’s little risk of rejection. An open body language tells her you’re approachable.
- Strong eye contact. – Since you’ve already made eye contact with her, her guard has been let down enough for her to want to approach.
- A winning smile. – Hit her with a winning smile to draw her in. There’s nothing that says ‘I like you’ or ‘Hey, let’s talk’ like a winning smile. People are conditioned to trust smiling people, as long as there is no hint of insincerity. If you can’t smile without seeming like a fake, that could be a problem.
Any guy who can tie all of these elements together will attract his share of females. Women will approach you if they think you’re ‘hot enough‘ and approachable. How hot you are is actually a matter of preference and is relative, but approachability is something you control. Take charge of your body language, style, eye contact, and look and great things happen.
A Note About Mental Attitude
Your mental attitude determines your success with girls. Your mindset needs to be such that you’re confident girls will approach you. If you can maintain this conviction, women will flock to you. If you’re unsure or downright pessimistic about your chances, nothing good is going to happen.
The reason mental attitude is brought up so often is because it’s the number one factor in getting more girls. Girl getting involves a strong belief system that you’re worthy of the attention of beautiful females. Any man who feels he is unworthy will struggle to attract women.
High self esteem and conviction in your beliefs help you deal with rejection. Most guys who don’t do well with women suffer from low self esteem and from fear of rejection. Rejection is no big deal. Every woman on earth will not automatically fall for you. Some might even coldly reject you. Don’t dwell on the ones who aren’t into you. Focus instead on finding the girls who are into you. Wallowing in rejection and becoming fearful of talking to more girls doesn’t solve the problem. Men need women in their lives! You can’t just ignore them forever.
Practice Makes Perfect
Getting more girls is a skill that can be improved by anyone. When you dress right, and you know the right things to say, and you’re a student of psychology, you’re able to pick up on the signals girls send. You can master the subject of seduction! Don’t take an approach that says you’re a victim of fate. You are not. You control your life and the people you attract into it.
Work on being as attractive as you can. This idea goes well beyond just your physical characteristics. A fun, vibrant person is attractive to others because they hold the promise of ‘having a good time.‘ Girls are looking to have fun. If they think you’re the guy who can provide them with it, they’ll be interested. If you reduce the risk they face in approaching you, you can expect a number of them to do just that.
I remember when I first became interested in getting more girls. I wasn’t doing that well with the opposite sex at the time and I figured I would have to make serious changes to get what I wanted. I found out that a lot of my failure had to do with my overall attitude. I really worked on increasing my self esteem and things turned around. They can for you, too! Good luck and thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read.
Be sure to watch the video below for more helpful hints on attracting more women into your life!