You’ve heard the saying “talk is cheap.” This phrase is very accurate, but I’ll even go one step further. Sure, most talk is cheap, but talk that misses the mark can be very costly! The cost you may pay might be your chance to get with the types of girls you’re really interested in.
If you fumble around and can never find the right thing to say when you meet a girl, you’ll never get anywhere. Understanding the Art of Conversation can take you from being single to having more females interested in you than you can imagine.
Rome wasn’t build in a day, and great conversationalists aren’t formed in a few sessions either. The best way to become an expert at talking to girls is by doing it! Practice makes perfect. Let’s take a look at a few tips that should help.
The First Thing To Remember Is Context
Being a skilled conversationalist means you have to be aware of context. What you say to girls you meet is going to largely depend on the context of your encounter. If you’re in the mall, you’ll probably adopt one form of communication. If you’re using a social media account, you’ll behave and speak differently.
Keep the context of your conversation in mind at all times.
If you’re like most people these days you probably spend a lot of time online. If you’re dealing with girls online your online social skills should pay off. However, if you happen to leave your cave and go out into the ‘real world‘ your keyboard skills will not come in as handy.
In the real world of malls, grocery stores, night clubs, and more, talk will only go so far – especially if it’s accompanied by a lack of a shower and lousy clothes. When you venture out to find new women to talk to, you have to bring your ‘A-Game.’
Online is a whole different matter. Since she can’t smell you you can skip tedious personal hygiene and just benefit from your rakish charm. When you talk to strangers online your natural ‘swag‘ reveals itself. Offline your confidence may not be as visible. It’s up to you to make sure you’re feeling very confident before you approach anyone in the real world. Otherwise she’ll be able to sense your fear – and she will recoil at your incompetence.
Here’s a few more tips that should help, regardless of who she is and where you are when your conversation begins.
Initial Encounters Always Involve Small Doses Of Small Talk
The single biggest mistake guys make with women is talking too much.
They find themselves in a conversation with a girl they find attractive and suddenly, the words flow out of their mouth like a raging river. This condition is terrible and has terrible consequences! When dealing with someone you just met, you should have no expectations of developing any real rapport. Rapport and trust only come with time, regardless of who’s involved.
Resist the urge to blab on. Instead, say as little as possible in order to make small talk. Spend more of your time listening than talking. If you can master this technique, you will be ahead of a lot of the competition you face. Make no mistake, there will be competition, especially if the girl you’re going after is very attractive. She’s going to end up choosing the guy who makes her feel at ease.
Guys who have had little success with ladies tend to attribute that fact to all kinds of unimportant factors. They’re convinced that they can’t get women because their abs aren’t great or their car is old. Sure, there are some superficial females who think that way. Some ‘hot guys‘ will automatically get women just because they’re good looking. But reality dictates that there are plenty of women for men, regardless of such trifling issues!
You DO NOT have to be rich, or super witty in order to get girls interested. You DO have to be a good listener and someone who has developed the skill of putting her at ease. If she’s comfortable around you, she’ll talk.
Try Not To Be A Complete Idiot
Some of the things you think are hilarious probably just aren’t. If you’re talking to a girl for the first time, save some of your most idiotic patter for later. Once you get to know her, she might share the same interests as you, but early on you’re better off playing it straight.
You should probably have a generic idea of what types of things you’ll talk to her about before you get started.
If you don’t have a game plan before you begin you are going to find yourself running out of things to say. When that happens, you’ll probably rely on talking way too much. At this point she’s forced to deal with verbal vomit from a guy she just met. If I were her, I’d leave quick! She will too, rest assured. Never try and fill up all the gaps in a conversation with idiotic jokes or nervous comments. There’s no quicker way to be shown the door than by doing that.
Conversation has natural ebbs and flows. Let it happen. Don’t try and control it. Instead, flow along and only speak when you have something interesting or pertinent to say. She’ll be impressed at your restraint and will think of you as a confident man.
Forget Keeping It Real
We live in a society where the advice to ‘keep it real’ is constantly given out. The trouble is, only a complete and utterly despised d-bag keeps it ‘real’ 24 by 7. In fact, those people who go furthest, rarely – if ever – do it by being real. Instead, they use diplomacy and tact to get what they want.
If you follow the custom of not blurting out the first thing in your mind you won’t have to constantly try and ‘take back‘ things you just said.
Being real means you give an opinion about everyone and everything! Let’s illustrate how this can go wrong.
“Those f-ing Republicans,” you say in response to a simple comment about politics, “they are the biggest thieves in history, I can’t stand them.”
The trouble is, her dad actually happens to be a Republican congress man from your state! Uh oh, guess who’s not getting laid tonight?
“I can’t stand tattoos on girls,” you proclaim, ignoring the fact she’s wearing a long sleeve shirt. “They just don’t look feminine!” Of course this girl has 9 tattoos and now can’t stand the sight of you. She abruptly leaves the room, never to be seen again.
These days, people have gotten into the habit of over-sharing. Not only do they post an endless procession of selfies, they also tend to blurt out their opinion about everything! A guy who is looking to have lots of girls interested in him is better off staying neutral on many subjects, simply for the reason that causing conflict runs counter to his goals of getting laid all the time.
Be smart – don’t open your mouth only to regret it later.
If this is your first visit to our site, take a look around. We have numerous articles on what to say to get girls, as well as tips on improving your love life. Thanks for stopping by and good luck!
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